The hopefully I remember it all post.

So I’ve been wanting to catch you up. It’s been a while and there’s still so much to do. The short version is, it’s been a hell of a year. The long version, well that’s the stuff of stories.

This has been a year of chaos and change, they go hand and hand if you didn’t know. I’m still trying to get my bearings, still trying to catch up, still trying to get momentum back. In the spirit of the new year or the really extra moon that’s happening, let’s catch up.

Huge thing is I have relocated. I spent from April of last year to August working on helping gutting and building a wee apartment out of a section of my parents house. It took a lot out of me in every way and the main reason being the deal I made with my sons father to share a house that finally went sour. He bought me out of a portion of my share of the house and I had no choice but to move, and seeing that my parents are older and have had some health issues, this seemed like the best plan. This also leads to a final and permanent separation since last year and divorce at some point this year. It’s sad to lose someone I’ve known for years but we began living separate lives a very long time ago and it’s well past time for us to officially go our separate ways. It caused so much stress and frustrations for us all and it’s taking some time to adjust and destress from it.

That is the root cause of why all my projects went missing after about April of 2017. I’d been dealing with some depression from that situation and some external friendships that had gone toxic before this and all lumped together, threw me for a loop. I haven’t really wanted to speak about it to anyone because we all know the shame game that goes on. I was so lucky to have a best friend who dropped everything to come up and help out with the build and the move and me from June until almost November. And I’ve been lucky to have supporting family if I’d just go ask for it. I also have a freakishly good son (insert the Gilmore Girls music here) who is the Rory to my Lorelai and I’m happy to say he came along on the adventure of all this change and can still be found just across the hall… new hall same people I guess hahahaha. it’s still a work in progress but all recovery is.

We’ve had some more health issues and scares including my son who at 19 got chicken pox just before Christmas and did not do well with it, having a fever at max that reached 106.5 F and had a steady around 104 F for almost a week. My dad has some more cancer stuff to deal with, but it seems like this one will be a simple and easy process thankfully. Happily these are the worst of things and they’re really not so bad seeing all we’ve been through. I’m adapting to some effects from the fall I had in June that hasn’t healed the right way but I’m hopeful it won’t affect the hands on creation of pieces I’m looking to add on and return to at some point this year.

I have had some good things in the Design by Humans shops and a sale of 2 items from redbubble as well as finally setting up a Fine Art America account to start profiting from my love of photography. I’m also learning how to use a graphics tablet and have a watercolour-ish design almost ready to release. My postcard painting I did for TAE18 is seen on much of their info! And of course there’s been new things up on my rainecaster and archives up on my gmeraine YouTube channels. I do plan on gaming and livestreaming again, I’ve been hesitant to do it because I haven’t had the right energy to do it properly as you all deserve. I miss it and look forward to dipping my toes in it this February. I’m looking at January as the free trial month, with great hopes and plans for the remainder of this year and beyond.

I’ve taken great strength from some different places…more specifically in the shows I’ve been watching: Grace and Frankie, Total Divas, Dragula, Ru Paul’s Drag Race, the Crown, The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross, Gilmore Girls (yes still) and the Walking Dead. I’ve found inspiration to fight, be strong and be happy being myself from all of them.

I do plan on sharing some of the process in photos in a separate post of the renovating. It’s still got some more to go, so don’t worry that you’ve missed it all. And of course that’s another time eater there but I do plan on picking up on everything including the podcasts on Parapopulous beginning in February.

You’ll forgive me for this very personal post I hope and thanks beyond words for hanging out and supporting me in all of this past non few months, it has meant the world to me.

au revoir

xo

i

I promise this will be a sooner than later return!

P.S. There are individual shops for Parapopulous, gmeraine and raine of iris on both redbubble and Design by Humans and the links for those are in the sidebar.

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Well then…

Today my friends is going to be a day of choices. I need to make some decisions about my too many plates spinning life that’s been happening. It will mean letting go or greatly reducing a few things, which pains me almost more than keeping them and tripping on them since I am a person of my word. But saying not right now is not never and perhaps at some point with an assistant or just when I’m better organized, I can always revisit them. As much as I have these things I want to share with you I need to be willing to say what isn’t working for me no matter what the relationship, and work is just another one. 

In so many ways though I feel like a failure. I feel like here I go quitting on you when maybe all I needed was that magic X factor. And what a disappointment I am. These are things we all feel, even when we know a situation isn’t working for us. And folks I know this overspread workload isn’t working right now. I’m one person attempting to create and game and write and handle all the background work of all that as well as running a house and looking out for my son and my dogs, and frankly I’ve bit off more than I can chew right now. I’m going to have to know being honest and authentic with you is only ever the best way and hope you feel the same. I’m not throwing it out, just this is just me taking off that one accessory that is going to make it all work. All that being said, I have great plans and this is part of getting there (no matter how strange that seems) and I’m ever grateful for your support and interest. 

So, what’s going to change? Well, let’s start with what’s not. My Twitch & YouTube playthroughs, let’s plays and livestreams as the Klutzy Gamer aren’t going anywhere and will remain my main focus. My one of a kind pieces as Magpie Muddles and their witchy counterparts of Betwixt Baubles aren’t leaving either. Bon Bon Betties is staying as well, but won’t be the focus. Parapopulous will stay but at a different release schedule. And of course the hub of Raine of Iris stays. 

Taking a breather or continuing their hiatus are Mmmmutterings and Rainebows End. I’m not saying I won’t ever do small batches of cookies or my motivational blog but I’m saying it doesn’t fit where I am right now. Likely there’ll be a few more adjustments yet but I’ll keep you posted as always.

Well, I guess that’s it for here, now onto some YouTube work and some tidying around the workspace before the Twitch stream tonight. 

au revoir

xo

I