Life Inbetween

So today we got the news we knew was coming but didn’t want to hear. The doctors have given my father 3 months. Well, 6 would be a miracle and at any point if he has another breathing issue.

I guess in some ways it’s easier knowing than him just not being alive one day, hit by a bus or heart attack or something shockingly sudden. It’s hard though, knowing basically when because we all know death is inevitable and it’s going to happen, but having that date on it is almost unbearable. And having to keep up a front because he doesn’t know is even more so.

So perhaps I should tell you what might kill him first? Infection, one of a few. Pneumonia, which he’s had 3 times since November. Or dehydration because he’s had more going out than coming in, though this is the least likely. The currently in a three way tie with infection and pneumonia is the main villain in it all, lung cancer. And somehow I thought he’d beat it too.

I say too because this is his third time technically. All the previous ones each time the doctors said his chances were bad. They were really small miracles at how he fought and recovered. The first took his right shoulder blade and the muscle around it. He almost died from blood loss after he came home when his wound opened. The second esophagus, the surgery taking his stomach with it because of complications. He almost died that time with the infection because they missed cleaning out all the tissue.

Then there was an initial spot on a lung that they got. And then in November of 2018 it came back. He had the first third of 2019 doing chemo because radiation wasn’t an option. And then it started going downhill. The feeling in his hands and feet went because of the chemo. It stopped working because he couldn’t move around to circulate it. And then the infections started. And last Wednesday it was really the beginning of the end.

He had a reaction to a new medication. He bottomed out, couldn’t breath and was beyond erratic. We couldn’t do anything to fix it and 911 to the hospital was the only option. And he’s been there dealing with all the fallout of it.

And now we deal with the fallout of it. Of knowing things we wish we didn’t have to know. Trying to hold our broken hearts together. Keeping it as normal as we can to keep the unfortunate truth from from the person who is carrying and battling enough already.

Please don’t go without saying things to the people in your life, one day it’s going to be too late.

Please forgive my absence in all my things. I’ll try to be around as much as I can for the next while.

au revoir

xo

I

It’s just…

It’s just exhausting, heartbreaking, time consuming, and so much more than I can put into words.

I had plans for 2020. The things the year has given me is not at all what I wanted. I had a visit from my bestie December and January but come the start of February they had to leave and go back home. And as always when they leave, it breaks my freaking heart.

I began the new year flat on my back, and not in the fun way, with my back injury flaring up. It was a long month and I’m still not fully back to my normal. I also somehow managed to get a sinus thing that won’t go away, which leaves me thinking sinusitis because the past few years have all been like this.

The big thing is my dad. His illness is beginning to literally eat him alive. I spend most of my day with him then go to deal with the house and yard work and of course making sure my mom is looked after through all of it. It is beyond anything he can fight and it’s the beginning of the end. It’s really difficult watching the man I’ve known my whole life as strong and someone nothing could get in his way be steamrolled by cancer. He’s fought 3 times and it might not even be the cancer that does it. It’s unfair to all of us losing him like this, and it’s beyond unfair to him to have to go like this.

So folks that is why I’ve been MIA. I’ll do what I can to keep up with things with you and for you. Thanks for sticking through this with me.

au revoir

xo

I

And the Etsy shop is ….

open!

It’s currently 6 patterns as I type this but there will be more to come. Some will be designs I’ve created and used on my clothing and accessories. Some will be brand new just for the shop. It perhaps was not the best timing to launch but I tend to do things as they occur LOL.

I am allowing a production of no more than 50 by a sole maker because I know being a maker can get expensive. I hope you’ll let people know where you bought the pattern from so I can continue my making. Of course, no copying or selling of the pattern. I hope you’ll all enjoy them and do be sure to tag me so I can see all your hard work!

Back to the creating for me and wishes for a happy holidays to you all.

au revoir

xo

I

Magpie Muddles news

Exciting news for my Magpie Muddles brand….

I’ve decided to make use of my Etsy shop finally and offer my fellow makers #pdfcrosstitchpatterns from my exclusive designs that I use on my #clothing and #accessories !!!!! Thanks for your patience as I get the shop up and running!

Link is in my bio.

au revoir

xo

I

Apologies

So you may have noticed a disappearance. I’d planned a few things and my dads health took a turn and my attentions went with it. He is doing a little better but still having issues and it’s difficult to feel helpless to do anything I feel helps.

In other notes I do still have all that planned. I’m trying to find some kind of schedule or semi schedule. I really hate that any consistency I had has vanished but I hope you all understand the circumstances behind it.

For now, I’m going to try to squeeze in some graphics.

au revoir

xo

I

Something in the works

Something really beyond is in the works. It’s not likely to show up tomorrow or next week and it’s like nothing I’ve ever done before. Ok it’s kinda like something but not exactly.

I know, I know, enough with the crypticness. Where are my podcasts and streams and new designs? Why add something else?

I promise all those things are in the process of returning and being created. This new thing is something I’ve thought about for many years but at first couldn’t do because of outside things and then didn’t have enough faith in myself to attempt. I’m now at the point of IDGAF and if I look dumb well, at least you can’t say I didn’t try.

au revoir

xo

I

New shop items

Just finished updating all the redbubble shops with new merchandise. Of course there are usually small differences in colour or placement from hub to category specific shop but that’s simply me being human. There will be new designs coming to the Kalamity Raine, the Magpie Muddles & the hub (aka raine of iris) shops as soon as I am feeling better; with Parapopulous to get a new design or two shortly after that.

I will be deciding after that which platforms I will have designs available on. Thanks as always for your purchases and support!

ah revoir

xo

I

Catching Up

So it’s been an okay month.

I’ve gotten back into a streaming schedule. I have only 3 scheduled but I as a rule end up having more. I like the flexibility of being able to pop in as time allows without having to potentially adjust or cancel. I will likely add a day to the schedule and perhaps adjust start time. I’ll keep you posted on that. As always Twitch is where to find me.

I’ve been working on new designs..

These are all currently available in my KalamityRaine redbubble. The Appalachia Awaits is a limited time design, so grab it on whatever you need it on before it’s gone.

I will be reopening the redbubble hub and it will have all of the availabile designs from the individual shops so you can one stop shop. And if you prefer to browse by genre, the individual shops remain open. It offers quick or relaxed browsing options. And of course new designs (some limited time) are coming to all.

I will am designing new pieces for the Etsy shops. Full production won’t start until I’ve finished off the construction of the last shelves (for now) in the living area. That being said, I am bringing new creations shortly.

It’s difficult juggling everyone and everything but I’m working with what delights me in hopes it will bring the same to someone else. Insomnia, depression & injuries are always accompanying but it’s good to have faithful companions.

I hope this finds you in good humour and abundance of joy.

au revoir

xo

I

Ends of March

Hiya again!

Been busy opening packages, LOL. Honestly. There doesn’t seem to be a week where I’m not getting in at least 2. They’re not all big and usually not expensive but it’s been nice being able to treat myself. I’ve shared quite a lot of it on the rainecaster YouTube and there’s more to come yet. I don’t plan on it being a sole haul channel, in case you were wondering.

I’m incredibly proud of my newest designs up on the Magpie Muddles redbubble. I have work to do yet on learning to do fontwork better and still working on some original digital works. I love that these digital shops interface so easily with my other works (though the designing does take time). I’m focusing on redbubble currently. It’s really exciting to know someone is wearing or using something with my design on it, and I don’t think that thrill will ever stop.

I started working on the YouTube gmeraine archives again today. I really am sorry to have fallen off my regular streaming schedule. Mentally, I just got so overwhelmed with everything going on and couldn’t get the gumption going. I do honestly want to and plan on coming back to the livestreaming again.

The dogs got a Super Chewer Bark Box (I did a mini show and tell on my rainecaster Instagram) and love it. I got a new tattoo and love it. A also got some new nail stuff (dip powders,gel, UV light and more ILNP polish) to play around with.

Links need to be updated all over the freaking place….sorry about that. Best thing to do is to follow the link from the original post and bookmark it yourself until I get caught up. Keep in mind it’s only me doing all these things, so sometimes it takes a wee bit longer than I’d like. Thank you beyond words for all the support, please know I don’t take it for granted.

I find myself so discouraged by the things I’ve fucked up. I’m trying to take pride in those things I’ve found the courage to learn or continue. Life is a process, one we don’t often understand and I’m learning being flawed isn’t a flaw.

au revoir

xo

I

Morphing Again

So, hi.

As if I didn’t have enough work to do with just the usual stuff, I realized a slight error and well, that needs to be corrected. I know, WTF now. See Raine of Iris was meant to be a hub only and I opened a shop or two and a channel. Whoops! So, the deviantArt has renamed to InexplicablyIris. The redbubble and Design by Humans will reopen as MagpieMuddles and the etsy shop, twitter and all existing social media currently existing will become reactive for the shop use. The Twitch and YouTube will not close for Raine of Iris but go dormant.

I will be closing all Rainebows End during this and moving any videos onto the rainecaster channel. Rainecaster remains the IRL and behind the scenes go to place.

 

I also now have a dedicated page (beyond the FineArtAmerica and the already mentioned deviantArt that is staying in place) for my photos, it is http://iris-newman.pixels.com . I’ve got a ton more photos to get live and adjustments to make to the site but, it’s there currently if y’all want to go visit.

I’m still nowhere near back to where I want to be and for that I apologize.

au revoir

xo

I