Life Inbetween

So today we got the news we knew was coming but didn’t want to hear. The doctors have given my father 3 months. Well, 6 would be a miracle and at any point if he has another breathing issue.

I guess in some ways it’s easier knowing than him just not being alive one day, hit by a bus or heart attack or something shockingly sudden. It’s hard though, knowing basically when because we all know death is inevitable and it’s going to happen, but having that date on it is almost unbearable. And having to keep up a front because he doesn’t know is even more so.

So perhaps I should tell you what might kill him first? Infection, one of a few. Pneumonia, which he’s had 3 times since November. Or dehydration because he’s had more going out than coming in, though this is the least likely. The currently in a three way tie with infection and pneumonia is the main villain in it all, lung cancer. And somehow I thought he’d beat it too.

I say too because this is his third time technically. All the previous ones each time the doctors said his chances were bad. They were really small miracles at how he fought and recovered. The first took his right shoulder blade and the muscle around it. He almost died from blood loss after he came home when his wound opened. The second esophagus, the surgery taking his stomach with it because of complications. He almost died that time with the infection because they missed cleaning out all the tissue.

Then there was an initial spot on a lung that they got. And then in November of 2018 it came back. He had the first third of 2019 doing chemo because radiation wasn’t an option. And then it started going downhill. The feeling in his hands and feet went because of the chemo. It stopped working because he couldn’t move around to circulate it. And then the infections started. And last Wednesday it was really the beginning of the end.

He had a reaction to a new medication. He bottomed out, couldn’t breath and was beyond erratic. We couldn’t do anything to fix it and 911 to the hospital was the only option. And he’s been there dealing with all the fallout of it.

And now we deal with the fallout of it. Of knowing things we wish we didn’t have to know. Trying to hold our broken hearts together. Keeping it as normal as we can to keep the unfortunate truth from from the person who is carrying and battling enough already.

Please don’t go without saying things to the people in your life, one day it’s going to be too late.

Please forgive my absence in all my things. I’ll try to be around as much as I can for the next while.

au revoir

xo

I

It’s just…

It’s just exhausting, heartbreaking, time consuming, and so much more than I can put into words.

I had plans for 2020. The things the year has given me is not at all what I wanted. I had a visit from my bestie December and January but come the start of February they had to leave and go back home. And as always when they leave, it breaks my freaking heart.

I began the new year flat on my back, and not in the fun way, with my back injury flaring up. It was a long month and I’m still not fully back to my normal. I also somehow managed to get a sinus thing that won’t go away, which leaves me thinking sinusitis because the past few years have all been like this.

The big thing is my dad. His illness is beginning to literally eat him alive. I spend most of my day with him then go to deal with the house and yard work and of course making sure my mom is looked after through all of it. It is beyond anything he can fight and it’s the beginning of the end. It’s really difficult watching the man I’ve known my whole life as strong and someone nothing could get in his way be steamrolled by cancer. He’s fought 3 times and it might not even be the cancer that does it. It’s unfair to all of us losing him like this, and it’s beyond unfair to him to have to go like this.

So folks that is why I’ve been MIA. I’ll do what I can to keep up with things with you and for you. Thanks for sticking through this with me.

au revoir

xo

I

Best year start ever

…..not!

As you may have guessed this has not been the start to the year I was looking for ( to paraphrase a well known Star Wars line ).

My back injury flared up literally when I woke up January 1st!! How rude! As usual with no rhyme or reason. I’m just getting to the point where movement isn’t completely agonizing and nearly possible. It’s been way too long and I’m getting irritated at how much I’ve been kept from doing with it. I know I should be used to it, I mean it’s happened before, but every time I go through this. I’m super happy I didn’t lose the ability to walk, like I have twice before. Or that it seems to be passing in less than a month or two, which it’s taken that long before. I just hate leaving things and y’all in a lurch.

I look forward to sitting up and getting back into things. Of course I haven’t been completely empty handed. I’ve been working on ideas for the upcoming thing I mentioned but didn’t. I’ve also started 2 new Instagrams um.yeah.lol and thoughtsperations and their respective twitters um.yeah.lol and thoughtsperations . Why I’ve added to everything I’ll never be able to tell you but I do really enjoy it all.

I have so many ideas to get out in the shops and I’m so looking forward to seeing y’all in the streams as well. Thanks for being so patient!

au revoir

xo

I

And the Etsy shop is ….

open!

It’s currently 6 patterns as I type this but there will be more to come. Some will be designs I’ve created and used on my clothing and accessories. Some will be brand new just for the shop. It perhaps was not the best timing to launch but I tend to do things as they occur LOL.

I am allowing a production of no more than 50 by a sole maker because I know being a maker can get expensive. I hope you’ll let people know where you bought the pattern from so I can continue my making. Of course, no copying or selling of the pattern. I hope you’ll all enjoy them and do be sure to tag me so I can see all your hard work!

Back to the creating for me and wishes for a happy holidays to you all.

au revoir

xo

I

Magpie Muddles news

Exciting news for my Magpie Muddles brand….

I’ve decided to make use of my Etsy shop finally and offer my fellow makers #pdfcrosstitchpatterns from my exclusive designs that I use on my #clothing and #accessories !!!!! Thanks for your patience as I get the shop up and running!

Link is in my bio.

au revoir

xo

I

Apologies

So you may have noticed a disappearance. I’d planned a few things and my dads health took a turn and my attentions went with it. He is doing a little better but still having issues and it’s difficult to feel helpless to do anything I feel helps.

In other notes I do still have all that planned. I’m trying to find some kind of schedule or semi schedule. I really hate that any consistency I had has vanished but I hope you all understand the circumstances behind it.

For now, I’m going to try to squeeze in some graphics.

au revoir

xo

I

Something in the works

Something really beyond is in the works. It’s not likely to show up tomorrow or next week and it’s like nothing I’ve ever done before. Ok it’s kinda like something but not exactly.

I know, I know, enough with the crypticness. Where are my podcasts and streams and new designs? Why add something else?

I promise all those things are in the process of returning and being created. This new thing is something I’ve thought about for many years but at first couldn’t do because of outside things and then didn’t have enough faith in myself to attempt. I’m now at the point of IDGAF and if I look dumb well, at least you can’t say I didn’t try.

au revoir

xo

I

Catching Up

So it’s been an okay month.

I’ve gotten back into a streaming schedule. I have only 3 scheduled but I as a rule end up having more. I like the flexibility of being able to pop in as time allows without having to potentially adjust or cancel. I will likely add a day to the schedule and perhaps adjust start time. I’ll keep you posted on that. As always Twitch is where to find me.

I’ve been working on new designs..

These are all currently available in my KalamityRaine redbubble. The Appalachia Awaits is a limited time design, so grab it on whatever you need it on before it’s gone.

I will be reopening the redbubble hub and it will have all of the availabile designs from the individual shops so you can one stop shop. And if you prefer to browse by genre, the individual shops remain open. It offers quick or relaxed browsing options. And of course new designs (some limited time) are coming to all.

I will am designing new pieces for the Etsy shops. Full production won’t start until I’ve finished off the construction of the last shelves (for now) in the living area. That being said, I am bringing new creations shortly.

It’s difficult juggling everyone and everything but I’m working with what delights me in hopes it will bring the same to someone else. Insomnia, depression & injuries are always accompanying but it’s good to have faithful companions.

I hope this finds you in good humour and abundance of joy.

au revoir

xo

I

So you like Spreadshirt…

Because I know sometimes we just like to shop in certain places, I’ve opened a Spreadshirt shop … 15% off with coupon code: welcome-100220889 at HTTPS://shop.spreadshirt.com/RaineOfIris . 

The Redbubble shop remains open and a Design by Humans shop will open soon because I know choices are good and each one has its own special items. Otherwise look forward to a blog post here and vlog on rainecaster (as well as the parapopulous podcast) heading your way soon.

au revoir

xo

I

Need Coffee?

One of the new designs up in my redbubble shop. Curious, go to http://raineofiris.redbubble.com to see more.

 There’s also a new parapopulous redbubble shop. And a new blog post too!

Still not done unpacking or renovating but I’m muddling through. Thanks beyond words for sticking with me through all this.

au revoir

xo

I